Ephesians, 6:1-4
Bob Eckel · Aug 9, 2009
Ephesians (2009), No. 32
Holly Hills Bible Church
https://www.hollyhillsbiblechurch.org/teaching/messages/4926140407350

Transcribed from the recording by SermonAudio, so expect the occasional misheard word.

So today, it's a humbling task for yours truly, because it's about children and parents. And I'll just say at the very beginning, we had so many kids because we had so many lessons to learn. That's what my late wife and I used to say. And we're still learning. And they're all out of the house. So anyway. But this is a fun text. And I enjoyed preparing for today in that I was, again, humbled by reflecting back and also dealing with various aspects of the application of the truths that we're going to be looking at today. So we're leaving husbands and wives now. And we're moving into the parental child relationship.

And the text is brief, but very, very full in meaning and intent. So, Bill, could you read the first four verses of Ephesians 6 for us, and read them nice and loudly so we can all hear them. Children, obey your parents and the Lord. For this is right. Honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment of the prophets. That they may be well with thee, that thou may live long on the earth. and your fathers have opened on your children to wrath or anger, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Okay, thank you, Bill. Alright, in our usual style, progressing sequentially through the verses before us. Children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right. So children here is interesting.

It's the Greek term tekton, which we, when we, those of you who were in the first John study, actually that was in our home here, not Sunday school, wasn't it? Anyway, and none of you were there except Margaret, but. And I'm not sure she was there physically, but how much she was there. No, anyway, so.

This is a term that is very restricted in terms of its interpretation here in Ephesians 6, but the term actually, and I'm borrowing the text from the Blue Letter Bible, which by the way is an online website that's free, and it's a tremendous source of biblical truth.

It's in multiple translations. It's got the Greek. It's got all the replication of phrases throughout the Word of God that are found in the text you're examining. It's got commentaries. Some of the commentaries you may not want. Some of them you may, but the issue is that it's a very rich source, and I really love it. In fact, it's my favorite source of additional information.

So, this is the blueletterbible.com, I think is what it is. So, Randy, you've used this site, too. That's pretty much what I use if I'm using my computer. I don't use other external software. I just use Blue Letter Bible. It's good. It's a wonderful source.

So, all that aside, the Blue Letter Bible says that Tekton is translated a child. And the root term is ticto, which means to beget or to bear. And this is used in both the natural and the figurative senses. In contrast to jueos, which means son, this word gives prominence to the fact of birth, whereas the second term for son stresses the dignity and character of the relationship. So figuratively, tecnon is used of children.

And so it's interesting, if you go through the Word of God, you find it used in a variety of different contexts. You can find children of God, children of light, children of obedience, children of promise, children of the devil actually, children of wrath, and children of cursing. So this is not uniquely used to a small child.

But I don't think any of us would doubt in Ephesians 6.1 this is a small child. or at least someone who is, in fact, begotten of the parents and in a position to be responsive to the parents' rules and regulations and the requests. So, small child in context, but it's a term that can be used much more broadly.

And the term of obey is really best translated here under. So, obey meanings kind of You're underneath the authority of someone who is speaking to you. In context, the exact interpretation of the term obey. This is present active tense. Obey means do it now, not tomorrow.

So, JFB says, in quotes, stronger than the expression as the wives submitting or being subject to, and we've dealt with that over the last three or four weeks in this class. This concept of submission is really a position of being subject to the authority of the husband for the wives. But this is a stronger term and should be translated as a stronger term.

This is more unreasoning and implicit. That's an interesting description. Unreasoning means it's not up to the child to figure out what's being asked him or her. This is not a matter of weighing should I respond or should I not respond and make the right decision. This is not an option.

Exactly and I can you know parents have a responsibility to here and that's that's where you know I'm humbled as we all are as parents looking back at this have we in fact carried out our responsibilities correctly and it's implicit. What does implicit mean? It needs to be added to it. It's clear. It's not nothing vague. Yeah, nothing vague, Tom. Very good. Implicit implies that it's going to get done, right?

So this is not an arbitration. So submission is the willing subjection of an inferior, pardon the term, ladies, in point to one who has a right to command, whereas this implies do it now. A right relationship between a husband and a wife is that she is subjected or submissive to her husband because he in fact is assuming his responsibilities in a God-given manner. The term inferior is maybe incorrectly applied by this translation, but nevertheless, subjection is a willing participation based on a relationship that's mature and giving, whereas obedience, there's just no issue here. There's no room for consideration whether you're going to obey or not. Now, I'm going to evolve today as we go through here this concept of children being under law and ultimately under grace.

We're going to build on that as we go through here. I'll save that for the moment to discuss further. Parents are defined really as begetters in the Greek, which I think nicely refers to what technon means being begotten of. So the parents are the begetters of the begotten, and so that relationship is bonded by biology and birth. Notice the qualification here.

This is obedience in the Lord, or this is right. Now in the Lord, the question to the class this morning, is the obedience in the Lord on the part of the one obeying, or does it mean the parents are in the Lord in their request? Is the question clear? Is the obedience itself in the Lord according to the child's perspective, or is in fact the parents being in the Lord makes the request one wherein the response is implicit?

Depending on the level and maturity of the child, maybe just listen to the parents and do what he says, or if it's a little bit further along, Quickly weigh what the options are, is it agree with what you've learned in Sunday school? Do what you've learned in Sunday school, I like that.

I don't think you're probably allowed to quickly weigh. You're not allowed to quickly what? Reflect that long before you decide to obey. You want to respond to that Tom? Depends on what you mean by that. All we can say is it's present active. Do we want to make a conclusion here or do we want to wait until we finish the four verses before us here?

So is a small child capable of obeying in the Lord? Is that the principle of law? quite the right definition for us, or young. Smaller, at least under parent's authority, correct? And that could take place, I mean, let's take a child who's living in the home until he or she's 35. I guess it potentially could apply even under those circumstances, but most of us are thinking up until mid-teenage years of some sort, but I don't have a perfect age for this.

I think of my grandchildren and I, you know, Nadia is not in the Lord yet. She's a year old and her sin nature is Does this apply to her then? At this point, she's just having to learn what obedience is. But then we come to Abby and Evie, who are a little bit bigger, and even them, they are three years different in age, and so you see different abilities for them to understand what this obedience means. And I'm not trying to get away from the point of the scripture, but just understanding that as a child matures, their understanding of obedience increases.

I think about it. It's kind of like a cause and effect. People for running in the street. They swat them, but they catch on that there's pain involved. There's some consequence. Okay. I don't really understand. I think a little bit. Right. It's And that's the legal aspect of being a parent, which is a child based piece. Childs under law.

I like Marilyn's answer, really, in terms there is a responsibility to both. And although we can say the child's put in a position of no choice in terms of biblical principles, The parents also have a responsibility to assure that they're not asking unreasonable things of a child who can't in fact perform what they're asking them to do. There is a balance here and I think that's why many people separate verses one through three into one lesson and leave four for like big slaves or servants. I like putting four with one through three because it fits the parent and the child have a working relationship in the Lord. And the child who doesn't understand the principles of the Lord must obey because mom and dad said so. It's that simple. There's no real discussion here. Now that's not assuming, but it's the challenge to the parent to assume that what he or she is asking from the child is realistic in the Lord. into this, and it definitely is one of those things.

And you do it minute by minute, right? We have long, lengthy conversations sometimes, and then we have to abide as we pull through each day. But the thing with Abigail, she'll be seven this month, and what we have tried to do over time is to with the Lord.

She's a believer, but she's seven, or almost seven. And she's young and she's not well trained up yet. We're working on that. And so each opportunity of discipline comes with the opportunity to draw her to the attention or to the focus of obedience as a response because of love to Christ That's a challenge. That's a mature view for a seven-year-old, I think. What we do is present. It is. I realize that.

It is the opportunity to present that principle over and over, even if she doesn't fully understand it. But then it gives her the opportunity to ask questions and grow. It's not something that I'm saying, oh, well, we just did this in a birthday. She's never been disobedient ever again.

But it is because we recognize that it's such a difficult thing for people growing. I mean, I was a teenager and nobody ever presented to me abiding in Christ until I was 20. Well, so for 20 years, I had no idea that there was a way I could be obedient, inspired by God. It was just merely, what can you pull off from the flesh? And obviously, we know how that works. And what's happened now that you have that principle all set up in your life, right? Well, I have a higher success rate because of the Holy Spirit.

How about that? So, as adults we're obedient to. What's our obedience to as adults? The Lord. Well, yes, but... Is it the Ten Commandments? We're going to talk more about that this morning, if we get there. What's our obedience to? The Holy Spirit, Christ Jesus. Well, yes, but what's the obedience to? It's the faith. Our obedience is to the faith. And the faith is wrapped up in everything that relates to I was saved, being saved, and will be saved. It's the faith of what God says and has revealed about us as believers. Your connection with this is extremely important. The child goes there, totally loves the child. Sure, that's true. And sometimes as parents it's hard to reveal, isn't it?

So the preposition here is in or on, which denotes actually position and rest. I just want to remind everybody, in can be used in other ways in scripture. But in context here, reading Thayer's lexicon and a couple of other sources, this position here being in the Lord assumes a position of the presence of the Lord in that decision-making process and rest.

I find that kind of interesting, actually. For a small child, he or she's not going to be able to conceptually understand this, except Jack, that the Lord loves you no matter what. That is, in a sense, maybe a security blanket for a child. Despite his or her behavior, that love of God never ceases. So I think that can be applied practically to being a parent. And in a sense, this working relationship, Marilyn, between parent and child really relates to this concept that was present in verse 21 of chapter 5, submitting to one another in the fear of God.

In a sense, the parent-child relationship is that constant interaction between parent and child, which is one of submission of both to the other, understanding the parent, where the child's at in her or his growth and development, and also from the child's perspective, being obedient until the concept of grace, in fact, becomes more evident in what it really means. It's all about attitude. Parents here with small children and, in fact, with teenagers having gone through all this over the years with five kids, It's all about attitude and you know it's really hard to change attitude, isn't it? You know, what makes a child obey with the right attitude? Does anybody have magic hands? I'm sorry? More beatings? You wait, about 10 minutes from now we're going to be getting into this. So Brad, you just have to be patient here a little bit. And the answer is partly yes there. And is President Obama in the room by any chance?

So the concept of attitude is this willingly obeying. Randy says to Abigail, this is what I'm requesting of you, and she says, yeah dad, I'll do that. There's kind of a sense of she's with you on the program, she may not want to do that, but this is what you're saying. There's an atmosphere of willingly being obedient, and that's an attitude.

Today there's so many young people with attitudes, and I'm sure it was true. Adam and Eve haven't changed over 5,000 generations here. An attitude is part of the old man, the flesh, and we're all born with it and it manifests itself. You know, believe me, very recently, about 20 minutes ago, I had an attitude here, too.

Margaret, forgive me, dear. So, and I think this attitude of willingly obeying is really a reflection of a parental-child relationship. Now, remember, small kids are under law. We don't need this kind of warm, cuddly, fuzzy kind of transmission of information when you know what's best for the child and you say this is what you have to do. There's no discussion here. That willingly obedient attitude on the part of the child may not be so expected for parents at the age of two.

This is what you need to do. You can cry, but this is in your best interest. This is what we're going to do. So, again, but I think it takes an understanding on the part of parents what this transmission of information about what's required is done in a way that they know you're firm, they know you're right, but they need to understand that you're transmitting that in a way that ultimately you're building a relationship by being a parent.

For this is right. I mean, for this is right in a wide sense. Upright, righteous, virtuous, keeping the commandments of God. I mean, this is all what's right. And really reflecting on what's pleasing to him. And what's pleasing to him is perfectly consistent with his word, right?

I mean, we don't have this list of what's pleasing to God. We, in fact, get into the Word and as parents, ultimately, we know what's right and pleasing to him because of all we see in the person of the Lord Jesus Christ. Everything that preceded him up to the cross and everything subsequent to that, Paul's and John's and Peter's writings to us as members of the body of Christ. So this is not a mystery and not a list, but in fact consistent with who we are in Christ and what we expect our children to be as we raise them by God's grace.

So I'm going to raise the question that kids are under law. And we all must admit the two-year-old is under law. They have no principle of grace by responding to the new nature, allowing the Spirit to lead them into all truth. I think it's important to understand, they're not under the law of Moses, they're under the law of the house. Exactly. It's a legal system now, right? A law, not the law. And A law is Nancy and Vern raising Randy. I know that was a tough job looking back. Now, the question to the class is, when does this legal system start to dissipate?

Tom, you've got the answer to this, I'm glad. You don't have the answer to that. He doesn't have kids. That's a favor to me, would you please? It's kind of like, it works itself in stages to where you understand what a favor to a parent is and then you get to know and finally it crystallizes and the child is not under the law anymore because he or she has trusted the Lord as his or her savior. Okay, so you're saying that this is a maturation, if you will, to understanding God's grace and what it's all about. Yes. Okay, that's a reasonable answer.

You might also say that it would be dependent upon that child's relationship with the Lord. If a child does not come to a knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ, then they will continue to be under house law. If they come to a relationship with Christ, then they can grow. They grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ and we grow together in the knowledge of grace. This could be age 12 for one child, 15 for another, maybe 19 for another. I guess it's possible to occur earlier.

Grace is a tough concept. As adults we don't exactly know what grace is, do we? We feel it and kind of sense the importance of it and we're blessed by it. Defining grace is probably one of the most difficult tasks there is, right? So let's define grace. What's grace? First of all, let's go back. What's mercy? Very simplistically, what's mercy? Mercy is God not giving us what we deserve as sinners. And grace?

Yeah, we get much of what we don't deserve. So the principle of grace is one that ultimately is simple to define in those terms but more difficult to experience and understand what it really is. Alright, so I'm going to contend that kids are under law and for each child, in each parental-child relationship, that law becomes imbalanced with grace. Notice I don't say balanced, I'm talking imbalanced because I think when they're equal is a short period of time only. So you're not there very long and we're not going to put a link to this or measure it in some way.

But the principle of a child growing up is in fact one that's increasingly under grace. Now keep in mind we're talking about the Christian home here. What about the non-Christian home? The law principle works because parents of kids in non-Christian homes put their kids under law by necessity for their own safety, but then when they grow up, it's a principle of of self, isn't it? It's not a principle of grace. It's not God's act in their life giving them more than they deserve. It's a principle of them growing up into themselves and the self-centeredness that all young people have growing up. And many of us who grew up without the Lord understand that. But you know, along with that too, I think young kids, they're more motivated in a lot of respects that own personality and their attitude towards life. They see that you give thanks for the food and the other things and after a while I think they are easily, can interpret more than you think they can. Okay, good point Jeff. All right, let's keep going here.

We're going to need to pick it up here a lot. And what if the parents ask a child to do something that's not consistent with the Word of God? What's the deal there? Should the child obey? Let's go on. Question 317 says, whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

I mean that's a principle more directed to the parents than the child, particularly at a young age. But yeah, some parents may ask children to do something that's really darn right wrong. And in a sense then you've got to question whether this is really a home where God's love is really truly seen or manifested. Yeah, Tom. And what is truly tough is it's a The kid was raised in a kind of wrong teaching, even though it was within the framework of Christendom, not Christianity.

And then they have to live with the parents, and so just to keep peace in the family. Okay, I'll say the rosary, but I'm sure you want to emphasize the name Mary. And instead of just contradicting the parents, since you're still under their authority, it's better just to minimize. All right, so let's take an example of parents who were kind of wishy-washy on the Word of God and really not being Spirit-led in the way they raised their children.

We have a child at 12 who's understanding a bit more about grace and God's love. all that. We've got a situation that develops here. I think the child, once the principles of understanding and truth are there in his or her life, ultimately the obedience becomes questioned at that point. The parents are actually asking for them to do stuff, like steal something. There are principles that can play out, I'm sure, in young people's lives where this circumstance can occur. We're not going to try to isolate circumstances and make a comment on those, but this could occur under some circumstances. I think it depends on age and understanding.

Remember, I mentioned up front that we have a dual responsibility as parents to assure that we're in the Lord, too, as we expect our children to obey. This is not a one-way street, despite the imperative and implicit nature of that obedience on the part of the child. Does this relationship between the child and parent ever end?

I mean, in Proverbs it says, listen to your father who begot you and do not despise your mother when she is old. Well, presumably when she's old, you're kind of grown up at that point too, under most circumstances, except maybe for Isaac. It also says leave your parents. Well, there's no question about that.

I mean, if obedience is an attitude, and the parent's request in the Lord is appropriate for the circumstances, then there's a relationship here. I'm trying to get through the dogmatic aspects of this to kind of the relationship in terms of the understanding. Yes, Nancy?

As our kids have grown and gotten married, we still have a relationship with all of them, which is wonderful. This has grown to include their spouses and their children, which is also wonderful. But our relationship has definitely changed. They are no longer under the authority of Vern and me. They are their own heads of house. And we are called to respect that. Right.

And I think this bleeds into verses two and three because honor thy father and mother is somewhat of a different principle. So the obedience concept, and by the way, The parent-child relationship and grown parents and grown children really is not one of relationship. It is by blood, as Verne said in the pulpit a couple of weeks ago, but it's fellowship.

This is more than a relationship. One of my five children I only have a relationship to as a father. I have no fellowship with her, none. It's hurtful not to be able to have fellowship with one of my children. That's the way it is, but I still have a relationship as a parent.

Am I telling her what to do? Maybe from her perspective I am, but I have no communication, so it's really not appropriate for her to accuse me of asking her to obey. Again, the parental role is not to continue to deal with your children as tectons or small children once they're raised. Alright, going on now.

This leads into the next two verses. Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with promise that it may be well with you and you may live long in the earth. And this is one of the Ten Commandments quoted here directly from Exodus. Honor your father and your mother that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God has given you. Honor means to revere or to prize.

I love the verb to prize. You ever think of your parents as someone to prize? It's a weird word, but in fact it has, I think, relevance here in terms of what that relationship's all about. Revere your parents. Prize your parents as if they're on the stage and you're getting the gold ribbon kind of deal. Wow. How many kids think of their parents in those ways? I would say that it's probably not until I became a parent myself that I started to really fully understand the way that my parents poured themselves into us three children.

It was like, wow. We talk about the kids being under law when they're little. And I was good at that by the way. No comment Nancy. As I was dealing with disciplining the girls and dealing with their disobedience I started to realize probably all of the frustration I put my parents through and they didn't kill me or anything. And suddenly you start to prize and you revere your parents in a way that you didn't before. There's no question about that. And this one shot of Sharon and mine and Margaret's now. I think children might help her understand better what this is all about. But she and her husband claim they want no children because they look back on both of their lives as oldest children in big families and didn't like that role. So they don't want to subject their children that way.

Pray for that situation if the Spirit reminds you. So this is the first commandment with promise, and the promise is not the main motive here to obedience. So honor your father and mother. By the way, I'm going to honor my father and mother so I can live long, right? Wrong motive. The main motive here, of course, is God's will that you honor your mother and father. And Deuteronomy reestablishes this, honor your father and mother as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be long.

Now, why is Ephesians 6-2-3 a bit different than Exodus 20-12? How is it different? Exodus 20-12 is the middle of the screen and there's Ephesians 6-2-3. Those two put together are always effectively Exodus 20-12. What's different about it? One is under law, one is under grace. Well, that's a true principle, but the text is a bit different too. What's different?

Well, Paul says the law is on the earth, which would imply a much broader territory, and Deuteronomy says in the land, which is speaking specifically the promised land. Of course, Israel's land-oriented, right? So I think both of these circumstances relate to the earth.

This is not eternal bliss here. We're talking about the earthly existence. What's different is that it may be well with you. That's not in the commandment in Exodus, right? So that's an add-on by Paul here in Ephesians. And the question I would ask, is this promise for Israel only, this kind of length of life in the land? We're going to deal with that in more detail.

So, these verses have suggested by some that maybe the law in the Old Testament is not abolished. Nancy, you kind of started this, so what are your thoughts? Is the law still in order for the believer here? Not for the believer, it's the life of Christ in the believer. For the Jew, they're still supposed to follow the law, and yet they can't if there's no land and there's no temple, etc. There's much of it they cannot. follow, but God even made provision for that. By the way, all of the commandments as given to Moses are stated in the New Testament at one place or another except one, and that's the rites of the Sabbath day and keeping it holy.

Yeah, Tom. The principle of resting in the Lord is still there, it's just not delineated by a day. You're building on that statement, right? I was going to further my question to you a minute ago. So if 9 out of the 10 Commandments are stated other than this one, and Tom's qualified this one, are the 10 Commandments holy? Yes. They define God's righteousness. Absolutely. So they're holy as can be. Are we under the 10 Commandments? Why? Why not? Doesn't this verse say if we honor our father and mother, are we going to live a long time here on the earth? Is that a promise to Israel only? If not, why is it given by Paul here in Ephesians?

If you're living under grace, you more fully embody the truth without the compulsion that's basically the devil in you under law. Okay, what was the nature of the law? What was it there for? Identify sin and sin takes advantage. Tom, you need to come to the head of the class. Isn't he doing just great? So yeah, the law was to convict, wasn't it?

And what's different about the age in which we live? We're now under Christ. We're in Christ. Okay, so what does that mean, though, in terms of where we're at in terms of the commandments? Well, at the cross, the law was done away with, and we are dead, buried, risen with the Lord. Yeah, we're identified with the Lord. But that doesn't mean the law isn't necessarily bad. No, no one's saying it's bad. The law is holy. Is the law a way of life? No, the law is not the way of life. No. Our motivation is different.

Under the law, you did this so that you would be blessed. Under grace, we've been given everything. We have the life of Christ, that's why we do things. And in a sense, the earthly blessings aren't incidental, but that's motivated by those blessings like they were under the law. We have grace, we have the life of Christ. And it's also the empowerment.

Oh yeah, I mean all of the above. We're not really of the earth anymore. You know, blessed be the God and Father of Lord Jesus Christ who has blessed us in all spiritual blessings heavenly places and on and on there and then Ephesians 2, 1. And you who he hath made alive who were dead in trespasses and sins. I mean, we have new lives. And positionally we're in the position of the Lord Jesus Christ.

And God no longer sees our sin. We see it and we lose fellowship because of it, but we're a different creature. We're not dependent on some animal to be sacrificed by the high priest each year to have our sins forgiven. And by the way, not truly forgiven, but atoned for. I mean, we're a whole different animal here.

So the Ten Commandments may be quoted by the Lord Jesus Christ in the epistles, but the Ten Commandments are not a way of life. They're in fact historically related to the sin nature of man, and now in Christ we're above these. So honoring thy father and thy mother is not a commandment to us as believers. This is perfectly the Christ life lived out in our lives and for our children. I mean, it's a whole different ballgame here now, other than being under commandments.

May be subjunctive, which means the action described may or may not occur. Let's look at the verse again. It says that it may be well with you. It may not be well with you. Okay, so if you honor your father and your mother, it may not be well with you, but it may be well with you. It could occur. It maybe won't, right?

Boy, as a 13-year-old kid, I wish I would have listened more to my parents. Because all the stupid things I did against their wishes only hurt me. And in a sense... I mean, it's only... He may be meaning, this is God's promise to you, hey, you will live long. But I think more logically, it's just, you're stupid. And your stupid actions will result in pain and problems for you. But if you obey your mom, good lord, you might live to 18. This is a long life for you.

You know, something Brad just said, you know, the things you do as a child that are disrespectful, disobedient, etc., they only hurt you. And in fact, I think you probably know now as a parent too, that in fact your children's disobedience does hurt you. It hurts your heart. And yeah, sometimes there may be physical or financial towards your heart, because as every parent knows, you want the very best for your children.

Absolutely. You know, I remember as a child giving my mother a bunch of lip. I grew up in a single parent home. My dad died young, my mom never remarried, and I gave her a lot of lip, and she used to slap me, and looking back, you know, today, if a parent slapped a kid, he or she'd call the police and you'd be arrested, right? Boy, I deserved every slap I got.

I mean, seriously, I mean, again, reflecting on what you were saying, Brad, so, irrespectful at times. Yeah. I think that goes along with the honoring, is realizing how your actions affect your parents, and prizing what they're doing to you, and coming to the point where it's not just obedience, but you realize how much your parents care for you, and valuing the care and the concern that they have for you, and realizing if I do this, it's going to cause a lot of pain and hurt to my parents, and you honor them by trying to spare them that.

And we all grow up with the sin nature and the old man kind of prevailing until we learn a bit more about grace. And then, as I've said many times before, I think it's the light gets brighter, the darkness gets more revealed for what it really is. I mean, that old man never changes. It's just that our position has changed and our acceptance has changed. And now, by the power of the Spirit, we live by faith that we're going to be transformed into the image of his son.

And that's really a neat promise for the believer, the parent, or the child growing up who's starting to respond by grace. So, again, this may well be reflects attitude of the obedience, and if this has been a problem and not resolved, I think things may not go well. I mean, in other words, if obedience has been kind of in just a military fashion of to say, mom and dad, you know, things may not be going so well down the road because the obedience is a wrong attitude of obedience. I'm just reflecting that as a possible outcome of things not going well when the child thinks he or she is honoring their parents.

I mean, I'm just providing that as a condition. May live long, though, is future indicative. What's that mean? How's that different than subjunctive tense here? Future indicative. I may live long. Well, indicative is what? Facts, right? And future means it's going to happen. So has or will occur is the idea. It's going to occur, has occurred, or is going to occur sometime in the future.

And by the way, this relates specifically to the land or to the earth, not to heavenly places where we know we have eternal security. We're going to be there forever. That's not what this is about. The commandment to Israel was the land. The statement of Paul in the book of Ephesians is actually to the earth.

So I guess, you know, the example in the Old Testament about people who weren't honoring their father and mother, Samson and Absalom, these people died young. I mean, I'm just pulling those out as exemplary of the Old Testament principle. But I think, is this really true today? on, Samson did judge Israel for 20 years, so he wasn't exactly young, young, like just starting out. Then he got enamored with Goliath, kind of like Solomon did with multiple waters. Absalom's a better example, I think, but I think they both are exemplary. What about today? It's in the Bible, But how many people do you know at a young age who you looked up to in terms of their walk with the Lord that the Lord took home?

We don't have a metric in terms of whether they honored their father and their mother, but they're out of here early. It's not that I doubt the Word of God, I just don't understand this particularly in terms of today's age. And I'm just shooting from the hip. No, because I think we all are. I'm not sure we all... Go ahead.

But he doesn't say, which is the first command with a promise that applies to you. He just says it's the first command with a promise. I mean, is it possible that he's saying, hey, this is marked out by God as a special commandment. It's the first one that he attaches a promise to. Not, and now you can apply it to your lives as a perfect cause and effect relationship. But there it is. He doesn't say, Or he doesn't explicitly say, how about that, that the promise is something that applies directly to us. But maybe he's just trying to draw the specialness or the uniqueness of that command.

Well, the other thing is that in the law there was a provision that if your children were radically disobedient you could take them outside the city and stone them. You would not be living long in an Old Testament context if you really blew it. You dishonored your parents, We really hate this, but you blew it beyond where God's law allows. Alright, my question then back to you then.

What's the application here in the New Testament? I would be more along the lines of Bradler. That living long had a reference in the law that would be different under grace. I'm not sure how it would be different under grace, but I would agree. Sin unto physical death. Sin does lead to death. in a scriptural context, and so on. But that's where that... I think that, at least in an Old Testament context, when you would read that, in the context of the law, you would say, yeah, this doesn't really have a death consequence.

Well, that may be right, but then why does he change it? Why does he add that it may be well with you, and that you may live long? I mean, he's not just quoting verbatim, he's adding to it. Maybe he's saying that If you honor your parents, not only will you have ... if you have a long life, that it'll be better with you. I think it was ... Swift and Goldberg's travels, people had long life, but not eternal youth, and so lived long, but it was a curse, because they had all the things. So it's not just living long, it's that it may be well, and you may live long.

And so, I don't know if that ... There's another aspect to it. Well, the thing I find interesting here, the verb is different in terms of the tense of the verb for the two different outcomes, right? And so, you know, it's funny. I don't know about some of you others who teach or ultimately, you know, want to answer the questions in the Word of God and are puzzled by something.

In areas like this, when you turn to the commentators They don't even deal with it. You're hoping that maybe Kafer has a view of this. No way. We've got to move. The last verse is an important one. Here's to us as parents, specifically fathers. You fathers do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. By the way, this is pater, or father.

This is not mothers. Although many commentators, and I must have read five or six of them in relationship to today's lesson, they say, well, this includes mothers. But the Greek term doesn't include mothers. That doesn't mean mothers don't have a role here.

It's just the responsibility is the father's responsibility. In today's world, I think many decades prior to now, ultimately dad's working and mom has to assume the responsibility and that's a failure of the dad actually, not that he's working, but ultimately that mom has to carry out all the disciplines, set the spiritual tone of the house. The primary responsibility of bringing up children to the father is spiritual leadership and discipline. Like it or not guys, this is your task. and we fail miserably at this.

By the way, the woman, because she's Eve-like, is going to take over if we don't. Good for her, but this may not necessarily be a compliment to even her nature. So it says, provoke not your children to wrath, and the Greek term effectively encompasses this whole concept, to rouse to wrath, to provoke, to exacerbate, to anger. So let's describe such circumstances.

I think, and I've learned through the years, and I probably still would be guilty of some of these because of my sin nature, but it's unreasonable and harsh rebukes. This might be an example of provoking your children to wrath. Harmful language. Anger is the basis of punishment. Degrading comments, etc. We could carry this list on infinitely about things you're doing as a dad or parents, if you will, that ultimately provoke our children to act. It's unacceptable. It's not consistent with the word of God.

Looking back, I can't tell you how many times I must have spanked in anger at my children growing up. I regret that now, but four of my five kids are fine. Again, like I said, I got slapped by my mother regularly. I'd hold that against her one bit, but yet she was angry and I would give her a lip and I'd get slapped. I didn't think about calling the police. I deserved it. I even kind of at the time thought I deserved it.

But as parents, we need to really understand this principle of parenting, and dads, it's primarily your responsibility. Another aspect of provoking children to act is a delayed one, and I came up with a concept of indulgence could also be included here. What happens when we allow our kids to have everything they want is ultimately they develop unrealistic expectations about the rest of their life. that things should be provided and they deserve things. And this could be equally as guilty of provoking giraffe, but in a delayed fashion. Maybe that's reading too much into it, but I think this could fit in provoking giraffe indirectly and in subtle ways that ultimately pays its price later in life. Even still, if it isn't provoking giraffe, it's at least not bringing them up and disciplining them.

And Colossians 3.21 says about the same thing, but it says, lest they be discouraged. Boy, isn't that a terrible thing to see a kid who's actually becoming down about themselves and discouraged about life in general and then not being able to honor their father and mother because they don't feel that they're being lifted up. Yes?

I think the key in all this, and you kind of brought this up earlier, is the difference between walking in the spirit, walking in the flesh. If you're walking in the flesh, it's not reasonable to expect spiritual results. And as fathers, we need to understand that only by walking in the Spirit, even if we're putting our kids under the law, well I won't say only, but it's hard for us to expect spiritual results if we're walking in the flesh. The key is that we need to act as fathers in the Spirit. And unless we're in the pattern that God set up with husband and wife, with Christ and the Church, you have the initiator and the responder, and if you don't initiate out of the Spirit, you can't expect to have the response out of the Spirit. Or there's that, if you will, kind of teamwork that's really expected between child and parent here. Let's move quick. I'd like to get through this. Have you ever been there?

And of course, most of us have in terms of doing things with our children that we regret later. But Proverbs has a lot to say about discipline. He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly. Chase in your son while there is hope. And that applies to daughters too. And do not set your heart on his destruction. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. The rod of correction will drive it far from him. And the rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

I mean, the principle is there about just and due punishment, but in love. Remember, this is Old Testament stuff, but Proverbs have principles that transcend the Old Testament into the New. We get no more direct instruction about how to be parents in terms of discipline than we get from Proverbs. I mean, like it or not, everybody, you know, we often say all the Bible's not for us, but it's all about us, right? It's not all about us, but it's all for us. So, about us is the church, for us is the entire Bible that applies principles from Genesis to Revelation to our lives. But bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

Proverbs 22.6, you've heard it so much. Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he's old, he will not depart from it. And that has a number of interpretations, will not take time to deal with him.

And in closing, by God's grace lived out in Christ in each one of us, by the power of the Holy Spirit is how this happens. It's really by faith that we respond to the Spirit's leading of being right kinds of parents. And here's the principle. The principle for a parent is this understanding that we're dealing with our children in a way of growing in balance between law and grace.

And that is probably different for each child. And as parents, we need to learn that. That's why we had five. We needed to learn a lot of lessons. And believe me, this transition takes place at a different age for each one of them. And one very, very early. And one, I'm not sure it's really ever occurred. Let's close with prayer.

Father, a very important part of Scripture this morning, and I'm not certain we've even done it due just. But anyway, we're thankful for the fact that the Word is there. We're admonished as parents to really develop the kind of parenting skills that are led by the Spirit and glorifying to you in the person of the Lord Jesus Christ. Those who still are parents of young children, we lift them up today as they may set standards for their home that reflect God's love and grace and raise their children up in the way they should go. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.