Two shall become one

Good morning. As we venture into this passage, we have to have a starting interruption. That's not a startling interruption. That's a starting interruption. You should take note of an important engagement here. On New Year's Day this year, in a frigid cold of the evening, as the account goes, in Telluride, Colorado, it was about 1030. And yes, it was dark. Andrew Malloy asked Jean Marie Vadder to be his wife. Jean said, yes.

I don't have a picture of the both of them, but hopefully your imagination will fill that in. Hopefully we get a little picture to add to that. Anyway, just thought you should know about the engagement. I don't think it's a pressing engagement yet, but anyway we'll see.

Alright, as we venture into our Genesis passage here, we've been going since the very first Sunday in December through this segment of Genesis, beginning with Genesis 1-1, now into the last half of Genesis 2 that Wayne just read for us. Particularly looking here in chapter 2, verses 4-25 spell out the conditions there, the setting for the Garden of Eden and for the creation of the man and the woman and how that came about. We're going to be heading between today's message and the next two Sundays into this passage, kind of revisiting issues again. So there will be kind of shifting topics each time, but continuing to look at some of the details that are either directly in that passage or that come out of that passage. And so we'll be looking, particularly focusing on this verse 24 that Wayne read. And as we do that, we want to get some key points here.

God declared his intent in Genesis 1 and 2 about maleness and femaleness. Remember in chapter 1, he said he created the male and female, but also about marriage and even family and things of that sort. Genesis 1 and 2 are key chapters on gender and marriage, and we'll see that as we go forward here. Our Lord in Matthew and in the book of Mark quoted from both chapters 1 and 2 including the Genesis 224 passage that we'll be looking at particularly over these next few weeks. The Apostle Paul in writing to the church at Corinth and writing to the church at Ephesus quoted from Genesis 224 in both places. And Christ and Paul both based their teaching on this biblical maleness, femaleness, biblical marriage on Genesis 1 and 2. And we're going to be touching on some touchy questions.

You may have seen an email that actually lists these questions. You've also got them on your handout. And I should note here, although the handout is only one page, one side of one page, I still will have the number in the corner so that you can track which slides are contained in your handout. If there's no number, it's probably not in your handout. First question there.

What did God mean by a man shall leave his father and mother? Okay. What's that mean? Does he walk away mad? What is this? All right. Why doesn't it also say the woman will leave her father and mother? Okay. That seems kind of lopsided. Why that? We'll be answering that question or at least touching on it. What does honor your parents mean? Okay. Do they get a medal of valor? Medal of Honor. Do they get a Parents Award? What does that mean?

We'll be looking at what does it mean by Genesis 2.24, by leave and cleave. Cleave is the term used in the King James, and it's nice that it kind of rhymes. So, what does it mean by leave and cleave? Does superglue have anything to do with that?

Why did Paul write, this is 1 Corinthians 7, first verse, it is better for a man not to touch a woman. No weddings? Okay, anyway. What is God's intent, if any, for one who is single? Does God have any place for a person who isn't married? How should we think about that? And that's not all, folks.

Beyond that, does Genesis 2.24 imply anything at all about how we raise our children? And what does it say about how parents of single adult or married sons and daughters, the way they relate to them? Oh, that's interesting.

Does Genesis 2.24 have anything to say to us about the selection of a marriage partner?

Obviously, you think that, I think that the answer is yes, right? Okay. Is there such thing as marrying the right or the wrong person? Can you get five years into it and say, oh no, I've got the wrong person? Who better answer that question? Oh, one more thing. Okay, more than one thing. It goes this way. What does God's Word, including Genesis 1 and 2, say about being made male and female? What does it say about that? Okay. What is a real man and a real woman? as God sees us. After all, God made them male and female. What did He have in mind? And here's another important one. Do cultural definitions of what is masculine and feminine have a place in our understanding of maleness and femaleness? And boy, have we got cultural definitions. And lack of it. Okay. And now for critical cautions. I need to give you these critical cautions. It comes like this. None of what I say up here should be seen as my aiming at any particular person, couple, or family.

Okay? You got that? None. Absolutely zipped. Now, having said that, the chances that I will say something that doesn't touch your life and background and experience is close to nil. Okay? So, the odds that Two weeks from now, when I'm done, that you will think, well, that has no impact on me, is close to none, zip, zilch, nada, okay?

So, just want to warn you, okay? No crosshairs, nothing intended. Oh, I've got to point this out, okay? Don't take anything I said personally, but be sure you take it personally, okay? None of what is taught is intended to energize elbows or point fingers, okay? I don't want to have any ambulance calls coming into the ER like this. We've got another call from Holly Hills. We've got another person with severe rib injuries.

Okay. No poke dice. None of that. Yeah. Okay. None of that. All right. Okay. The priority in God's Word is not, oh, he needs to hear this. The priority in God's Word is, boy, I need to make sure this other person hears that. Did you get that? None of that. The priority in God's Word is apply it first to one's own self. Top priority. Galatians 6 chapter 1, first five verses, as a matter of fact, of Galatians chapter 6 touches on this thing. I'm going to summarize Galatians 6, 1, 1-5.

Only after that, with the intent to gently restore, can a believer who is walking in the Spirit, that is walking in dependence upon the Holy Spirit, apply it to another. Only under those conditions. First to oneself. Then, by the Spirits working in them, apply it to another. And only with the intent to gently restore. Not, let me restore you! Wham! Okay? Alright? Okay.

With that, let's turn to Genesis 2.18 in your Bibles here.

In Genesis 2.18, it says this, Then the Lord God said, It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him. Now, in chapter 2, verses 4 through 22, God is called Lord God, as we pointed out last week. Last year that was.

Anyway, as we pointed out last week, last Sunday, Elohim is the name that you see in the first chapter. Elohim is the God who is powerful, sovereign. He's the Creator of all. What we see brought together is Elohim Yahweh. This name Yahweh is God's personal name, God's covenant name.

That's put together here in the second chapter, and that's the pattern. In the first chapter, we also saw repeatedly the Lord said, and it was good. The Lord saw that it was good. In the second chapter, we have here for the first time that it's not good. We'll see that shortly here.

It's not good that man should be alone. God said that He will make a helper suitable for Adam. Now, what is a helper? Now, before we dismiss this word helper, because we might tend to think of that a little too diminutive, we're going to talk about this in a little bit, but that word helper that's translated here in your Bibles is a word that's used later on in the Bible for immense help. powerful help. So this is not wimpy help. This isn't so, oh, help. No, this is a powerful word. It is even used of David's mighty men helping David and his top warriors. Help, David. That word. So this isn't wimpy help. This is big help. So what's a helper?

I have to tell you that that question long puzzled me. Oh, I could look it up. And I have to say honestly that Nancy is one who has helped me learn what that means. And I would have to say especially in recent years, that's why I misread it intentionally at first, what this word means.

It's not minor, it's not wimpy, and it's not small. It's a big help. As a matter of fact, the way the word is used in the Old Testament, it means an essential help. An essential help. A much needed help. A help that makes so much difference that God would, in the middle of that sixth day, say it's not good that man should be alone. And when the woman was created, to finish off by saying it's very good. That big a difference. That kind of help.

Simply put, the woman will be a helper as she assists the man in the work that God has given him to do in the place that He's given him to do it. See that? To be a helper is to assist the man in the work that God has given him to do, and that's not a wimpy help, that's a big help, in the place that God has given him to do it. That's what a helper is.

Now, what does he mean by this word suitable? It means that she is adapted and fitting to his needs as his helper in this work and the role that God's called him to take. By the way, God made that adjustment determination. God made that adjustment. He made the determination of what was suitable help. What kind of help does this man need? And stating that and knowing that, then he created woman. Let's turn to verse 29, excuse me,

19. Genesis 2, 19. Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called the living creature, that was its name.

Now God didn't just make the woman on the spot. Did you notice that? He didn't just say, OK, we have a situation here. It's not good that the man should be alone. Make a woman. Here she is. We're done. What did he do first? He first brought out this situation, recognizing that certainly this man needed a woman in his life. He needs a helper suitable. But he wanted first for Adam to recognize his need. Isn't that something? And so he brings about a set of circumstances and an assignment basically for Adam so that Adam will recognize his need, recognize his lack of that person.

So God brought the land animals and the birds to name. And what's interesting, he didn't also bring the fish. It's too wiggly, squishy, finny, scaly, or something. But anyway, they land animals in the birds. And God had, in fact, told him, rule over these animals. Rule over these creatures. And this was a part of the ruling, is naming them. Understanding them. Having an acquaintance with them. That's part of his rule over them.

Genesis 2.20. Let's take a look at that.

And the man gave names to all the cattle and to the birds of the sky and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. We read here that Adam, and this is the first verse that gives him a name, did all the naming. But with all the naming and all the animals, he didn't find a helper suitable for him. Notice, helper, suitable.

Not there. Oh yeah, he saw lots of creatures. There were male and female giraffes. male and female eagles, male and female elephants. You can imagine, Adam, male, female, male, female, male, female, and then various kinds of noise and ruckus in the middle of that, right? But in the midst of all that, I'm sure he's looking at male. Wait a minute, something's missing. And he'd look at himself. The seeing all the animals underscored put in bold print that he was lacking something.

There was no female corresponding to him. None. Not a one. Adam had seen what God had already said. It's not good. The man should be alone. Adam needed this helper suitable for him, and he himself recognized it. Now, now, Adam's ready. Let's look at verse 21. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept, and he took one of the ribs and closed up the flesh in that place. Now that's a manly thing to do. First he sees a need for a woman and he falls asleep, right? Okay, this is great. We're off to a good start.

Actually, that's exactly what God had in mind. God is the one who administered the anesthetic here. And he did the surgery and believe me everything went perfectly. The Hebrew word here doesn't however just mean a rib bone. The Hebrew word here has the idea that it includes both the bone and the flesh with it. So there was both bone and flesh. It corresponds by the way as we'll see in verse 23 to exactly how Adam responded. We'll see when we get there. God restored Adam's flesh and bone where the rib bone and flesh had been removed. Let's take a look at verse 22 then.

The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which he had taken from the man and brought her to the man. This Hebrew word translated fashioned is not the same word that God had used in forming Adam. Adam had been formed from the dust of the ground. This woman was fashioned, made, from this rib and rib flesh of Adam. The woman that God made for a helper that was suitable to the man was from his own flesh and kind, not just another one of the dust and other ground female kind, but from his own flesh and kind. It's different from him and yet corresponding to him. made from His very flesh and bone of who He was.

The man hadn't made the woman. The woman had not made the man. The man and the woman had not come about by chance. By the way, one more point I want to make out here. As we look at this passage in chapter 2, even in chapter 1, there is nothing There is nothing in this passage that indicates that Adam was made to be wild. Nothing.

What you see instead is that he is to be the ruler, to have dominion, and instead orderly. Give the animals names. Don't just go chase them or ride them or something. Give the animals names. Understand them. Look at them. What we see is less and less indication as we proceed through the account of wildness. Orderly all the way.

Now that we've seen something in Genesis 2 that has some insights of what we expect of marriage and a spouse, have you ever heard of anyone say, oh, I'm going to get married to this person and I'll change him or her. Ever heard that? Good luck. People have all sorts of fantasies about, oh, I'm going to change him or I'm going to change her. Sometimes they even continue that fantasy into the marriage for some time. Good luck with that too. It even impacts our decision of someone, oh, I'll marry this person, but I'm not really going to marry the person as they are. I'm going to marry them as I'm going to change them to be. Oh, boy. People can have all sorts of fantasies about how they're going to change the person they're married to.

I got a question for you. What they want to do is to change that person into what they want them to be. Good question. What does God want them to be? Who does God want them to be? Is that the same thing? What if God wants to change a man or a woman into something other than what this person has in mind?

If we were to look at Romans 8.28 and 29, 2 Corinthians 3.18, we won't go there quite at the moment. that both of those passages have something to say about who a believer is being changed into. Let me get to the chase right here. It is the image of Jesus Christ, conformed to the image of Jesus Christ. That's the change that's taking place. Well, as we get into that passage some more, here was Adam.

He was not awake when Eve was created. Eve hadn't been created when God created Adam, so neither of them saw the other being made. They were formed in different ways as well, not formed and made in exactly the same way. Each had a sense of mystery about how the other was created and made. Each had a sense of mystery about the creation and character of the other.

This has relevance to a husband and wife being drawn into discovering one another. Is there not, even when the couple has spent a lot of time together, is there not still remaining mystery, even when they say I do? I would put forth to you that an assumption that the mystery is not there, an assumption that I think I'll find some other mystery, is the creation of a great deal of problems. The Lord created man and woman to have an ongoing mystery about one another, a mystery to be discovered. And also, that points to something else. Both man and woman need to live so as to be discoverable by the other. Something else. Adam and Eve had not stumbled upon each other.

God is the one who brought them together. Did you notice that? God is the one who put the two of them together. This was the first marriage. God presented Eve to Adam. If there had been a pastor there to perform the ceremony, who gives this woman to this man? God would have said, I do. God was performing the first wedding. God bringing the man and the woman together as the first husband and wife.

Let's look at verse 23. And the man said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Now, it may be a surprise to many of us that the first words of this encounter came out of the man. But nonetheless, that's what the Bible said happened.

The Hebrew behind what's translated, this is now, is actually a little difficult to translate with just a few words. And so let me give you the additional insight. There are two basic meanings behind the this is now. And one is the implication is this is the end of a process. That's one of the implications of that set of Hebrew words. The other part is what a discovery. What a discovery.

Now I can imagine some other things that aren't recorded. Adam might have said something like, yes! or something like that, but that's not recorded for us, so we'll have to take what we've got. So, his statement, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, fits well with our understanding that the Lord didn't just take a rib bone, but actually bone and flesh together out of the side of Adam. He had formed the woman from the rib of Adam.

He named her, or at least called her woman, as he'd named the animals, but his naming was not like the animals at all. None of the animals could he say, oh, it came from me. She was unique. She was unique. So he called her, it says here, woman. It's Isha, okay? And his name as man was Ish. He was taken from the man. Now comes this verse 224 that will be central to what we study the rest of today and this next two weeks. Verse 224 goes this way, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

The question comes up here because the Jews certainly use this and we see it very evidently in the New Testament. The Jews use this verse as a basis for marriage, and what a valuable and important verse it is. But how should we view ancient Jewish traditions about courtship and betrothal, that's the word used for engagement, and marriage? Our understanding of these things, of course, is really helpful. It gives us great insight to things that were said. We have an example here.

Here Jesus is at the Last Supper, and he says words that were said between a bride and a groom once the engagement had been set, the betrothal had been set. The groom would take a cup full of wine and say, this is the new covenant. The part that Christ added was in my blood. What was it? It was a statement that a groom would say to the bride. They must have been shocked. What are you doing?

So there are things drawn from Jewish wedding and marriage traditions that are helpful, very helpful for us to know. Christ illustrated a number of things in his communications with the disciples that had to do with the Jewish wedding traditions. We have, believe it or not, a supplement on the cabinet to the right as you exit that explains some of these things and I think you'll find it very interesting. Please let me know if we run out and you need some more. It shows how the Lord drew upon these wedding customs in order to illustrate and explain his relationship with the church. But just because the Jews had some tradition does not mean this is what we ought to do. The Jews had a tradition of selling the animals and exchanging money in the temple courtyards. That was their tradition. Guess what Jesus thought of it?

Not much. We have a number of traditions that we have and a lot of times it's not recognized what those traditions mean. Wedding rings. It's a 4,000-year-old Egyptian custom from the time of Abraham. Originally not made with gold but with grass. Wedding gowns in the last not quite two centuries have been white traditionally to symbolize purity. By the way, the color prior to that was red. The Jews, New Testament times, saw blue as the color of purity and so their wedding gowns frequently included some blue. Something borrowed something blue. Purity is what it stood for. Traditions change and that's okay.

We should not assume that God intended for us to keep all the Jewish traditions. Have you had somebody tell you something like, oh, well, the daughter, until she is married, should always stay in the father's house until she's married, because that's the way the Jews used to do it. Well, that's the way the Jews used to do it. The Bible doesn't say that's the way we should do it. So we need to look at what does the Bible say, not just what was Jewish tradition.

Let me give you a further insight into this Genesis 2.24 that we're going to explore a little bit more because we don't have time to go into it all here.

In Genesis 2.24, what is this?

The man shall leave his mother and father and be joined to his wife. Well, here's what's behind it. In most Jewish households, a son's house was built against a wall of his father's house. He'd leave his mother and father and, as Jesus said, I go to prepare a place for you.

He would build up a wall build up a house against the wall of one of his father's walls because that was cheaper. And besides that, it was right on the property, right? And that was the typical. So if the father's house was right here, the son's going to build right there. That's leaving the mother and father. There's the field, for example, that the father might own and work.

His son gets that half or that corner. So this is the way it typically was. The wife, the bride, almost always moved farther than the groom did. And almost always had more of a change in family relations than the husband. And yet scripture says it's the son who moves out and establishes his own home. We're going to be taking a look at that because it's real important.

Here we are in Genesis 2.24 and the Jewish tradition was that you would have this wedding ceremony that would last for one to two weeks. How many of us think like we have to do that? Oh, heaven help us. Okay. Alright, let's turn to verse 25.

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Now, there wasn't any sin or shame or cold to cause Adam and Eve to see their nakedness before each other and see a need to do something about it. And at this point, that's where God calls His creation very good.

Remember what we said earlier about the ongoing discovery between husband and wife? This ongoing discovery of the mutual mystery between husband and wife. Part of what this verse is telling us is not simply the physical aspect. Certainly, that is definitely there. But there is also beyond that physical openness, there is also an openness in every other respect. and openness between them that allows for that mutual discovery. This is about being discoverable by one's spouse on many different levels, spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, oh yes, and physically. This is about being interested as a spouse because there is a mutual availability for discovery.

Now, as we go forward from here, we'll certainly be looking over these next couple of weeks at what these verses have to say about maleness and femaleness, about husband and wife, marriage, relationship, family, and yes, even singleness. That'll be important for us to take a look at. We'll be exploring these verses certainly even more over these next two weeks. And we'll be bringing fresh insights from other passages, drawing in other passages that refer to this passage or make some relevant reference to it.

This, what we'll be exploring here, will bring us to a place of recognizing just as we saw there on that day, that sixth day of creation, there was really a trio of relationships, right? Adam and Eve and between each of them and the Lord. and moving into the marriage, that's still the way it's to be. It's that relationship with the Lord that is central. Far from getting in the way of the relationship between the two, it is the basic glue of the relationship between the two, the relationship with the Lord. Our relationship with the Lord is the very bond and substance of growth in that relationship. In fact, one of the things we're going to see is the eternal relationship between Christ and the church is the ultimate model for the relationship between husband and wife.

Paul quotes Genesis 2.24 at the end of Ephesians 5. He quotes the whole verse, but he adds that additional truth, the ultimate in the marriage relationship is that the husband is to the wife and the wife to the husband as Christ is to the church and vice versa. Growth in the marriage is based on each spouse's growth in and relationship to the Lord. The living out of the marriage relationship is the ultimate expression in this life, the ultimate expression in this life of the eternal romance between Christ and the Church.

As the years have gone by, and I've told you before, Nancy and I have been married 34 years now, I have increasingly gotten more and more every year excited about this. I just, you can tell, I just love being married to Nancy. I'm more excited every day. But what is really cool, what captures me, and deeply, is to recognize that I am living out, for whatever time Nancy and I have, I am living out, for the years the Lord gives us, the eternal romance between Christ and the Church.

That is an unfathomable privilege and blessing. Wow! And this romance between Christ and the church is infinite and endless and untouchably wonderful. I have the privilege, the mind-boggling privilege, of being able to live that out for the years that the Lord has given us together. This is exciting stuff. Really exciting stuff. Let's go to our Lord in prayer.

Lord, as we look at this passage here, what deep and marvelous things you've laid out for us. And Lord, excitement, excitement almost to no end about what you've done and accomplished, who you've made us to be and the incredible privilege that you have given us. to express in real life, this life, the eternal romance between Christ and the Church. We thank you for that. We thank you for the rich truth that you've laid out, the wealth of grace that you've laid out in your Word. We pray this in Jesus' name, Amen.