Colossians Lesson 18 Week 3

So everybody got a sheet? We're on question six. I don't think I ever get these things right. And J.D. had the work down through, we're on verse 18, 19, and 20 in Colossians chapter 3. It's been kind of an interesting time for me because when you get to this part in Paul's epistles and he starts to give you what we would call imperatives, we just have a natural tendency to implement do some of those words that I don't like, like duty, obligation, responsibility, all those kinds of things, and so we step to the line.

We see this, husbands love your wife, in verse 19, husbands love your wives and don't be bitter towards them. How many of you guys that are husbands think this is a pretty, now that you have the command, this is something you can just pull off with God's help? How come no hands went up in the air? It's interesting when you do premarital counseling, when you get to the responsibilities of a husband and you say to him, in the word of God it says here in Ephesians and Colossians and 1 Peter that you are to love your wife as Christ loved the church. What do you think about that?

If the man answers, oh no problem, they've got a problem. If he really sees what's here and he recognizes immediately that he's now way in over his head, then you've got something to talk about. So what I thought we would do is to talk about how does a man or any of us actually get to the point where we, and I'm going to use this term, we appreciate what God has given us. We actually take it and use it. If we were to spend the next ten minutes going through what we've already learned in Colossians, we would rediscover an awful lot about the Lord Jesus Christ that we didn't know before. And we would discover an awful lot about who we are in Him.

And notice where this is. This is in the third chapter, 18th verse. This is after all kinds of positional information has been given to us about who we are in Christ. And who you are in Christ is not an add-on. If any man be in Christ, he's a new creation. So we spend a lot of time learning about what it means to be a new creation. And this kind of a command is given to the new man, not the old man. Who doesn't understand what I just said? All you chickens, raise your hand. Who reads The Hungry Heart every day? Do you read it today? Listen to this.

It takes a long time for us to realize that we have been in the light above since we first saw the light below. You get that sense? It takes us a long time to realize, bingo, that it dawns on us, that we have been in the light above since we first saw the light below. You saw the light below when you were saved. But to realize that you've been in it since that time takes some time.

Let the realization of the soul be compared to the condition of men groping about in the dense dark fog. This is most of your spiritual life and mine. Still we know that it's clear daylight above the fog and all we want to do is get high enough. Now the fact is we are risen with him. Gee, that's a verse that we just saw since we've been risen with Christ. Seek those things which are above.

Then may we set our affections on the things above, where the Lord Jesus sits at the right hand of the Father, and though the secret power is unseen, faith in Him will lift our spirit unto the clear light where He is." That first verse of chapter 3 is paramount in a believer functioning on a daily basis. since you've been risen with Christ. Is that true? Yes. Is it true? Yes. You believe it's true? Yes. You walk in it and live in it and rest in it and see the light of it? Most of the time.

Now here's where it gets tough. The first question is where the believer walks. The next is how he walks. Husbands love your wives is the how part. The where part is where you are. Is he in the golden palace, the holiest of all, where the full blaze of the divine light shines? Or is he still outside the palace, walking in the darkness of the world?

I'm going to pick on you for a minute. Last week you asked JD if wives submitting to their husband was supernatural. If you're outside the palace walking in darkness of the world, it seems supernatural to you. But if you're in the palace walking in the light, it's normal. You see that?

For a husband to love his wife as Christ loved the church is normal. It's normal for a believer. It's not extra cool. It's just normal. For a wife to submit herself to her husband is normal. It's not some super spiritual thing that you've been urged to do.

The believer's walk may often be faulty as he grows, but he is in the light. You're in the light. Your position can't ever change. You may stumble, but you're in Christ. Here it is that the child of God is to walk. If we walk in the light as He is in the light, how He walks is a question to be settled after it is determined where He walks. In the book of Colossians, the first two chapters answered the question, where am I?

And then it came, what am I to do based on where am I? See, if I don't have the where am I down and here comes the what am I supposed to do question, I'm just going to try it. Or I'm going to think I better try it or the guy sitting next to me is going to think I'm some sort of second class Christian. Or I've got to work harder at my marriage because it isn't going so well.

Where you are is the first thing to be determined in Christ above. And walking in the light, fellowship follows, not as an attainment, but as a consequence. Do you understand what he said there? If you're walking in the light, fellowship with the Lord Jesus Christ and with one another follows not as something you've attained, or added on, but it's a consequence of who you are. Those of us who are in Christ, which includes everybody in this room, consequentially has a walk and a fellowship with the Lord Jesus.

You may not know it, but you do have it. We are never called outside the camp until we are inside the veil. Do you understand what that means? What's the camp? Not the church. What's that? Tabernacle. It's a Jewish term. The camp was where the temple and all of that was in Jerusalem. So the Lord Jesus, was he crucified in there or out of there? He was taken outside the religious environment to be crucified. So the issue is, to repeat, we are never called outside the camp, in other words to proclaim him outside the camp. Until we are inside the veil. Oh, where's the veil? What's inside the veil? The Holy of Holies.

So how can you explain what it's like to be intimate with Christ in the heavenly places if you've never been there? Guess what? You already are there. Your job is to believe. We have title to our home in the Father's presence. We are to come forth from that abiding place and let the world know that we are strangers to it. Nobody can watch the Broncos tonight. As a Christian, I am now in Him before the Father. You understand that? As a Christian, I am now in Christ before the Father. Right now. And I have been since the moment I believed. As He is in me before men.

And the Holy Spirit has been given as an enablement to enjoy the privileges above and to make good the responsibilities below. The Holy Spirit has been given to enjoy the privileges above and to make good the responsibilities below. So, husbands love your wife. Is that a responsibility for you and me? Absolutely it is. How's it going? How's it working out?

Ephesians, let's see, Ephesians 5. Ephesians 5? Ephesians 5, 28 says, he who loves his wife loves himself. So I think that sometimes, well, what can I say since I've been divorced 40 years, but I think that if you, if the wife loves herself and the husband loves himself, then It seems like it would work. Am I way off here? Well, back up to verse 25 in Ephesians. It says that the husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. Now when you get to Ephesians 5, it's the same principle that we've just talked about. The position has been laid out. Now it's very easy for me as a non-believer to look at 528 and think oh well that's the secret because the Old Testament says I'm to love my neighbor as myself and if I don't love myself how am I ever going to love my neighbor?

It's a little legal isn't it? Why do you love God? Isn't that something? And why do you obey him? When he gives you an imperative, why do you go for it? Because you love him. Why? Because he first loved you. And guess what he's going to do? He's going to reward you for obeying him, for loving him, because he first loved you. Is that cool?

You have to go all the way around the circle to the cause. See, if you just take 528, it sounds like I'm the cause. If I do the loving, I've got to love myself so everything... No. No. It has to start because that word love isn't warm fuzzies. It's agape, which is to find extremely high value in the object love, no matter how they respond. It's resident within the lover.

So when God loved me, I was just this wonderful person he just couldn't help but love, right? I'm a slug bug. But he loved me and he gave himself for me. See that? So it's important for us to get the sequence right. And the sequence when it comes to love is that God first loved me, and I can respond to love him back. That's what responsibility means, the ability to respond. Right there in that section with responsibilities between husband and wife, is that response not to each other but to the Lord? Yes. And who you are? Initially, yeah, that's exactly right. I can't love you if I don't have something going on with the Lord, if I don't love Him. I don't know what it's about. That's all great. Idealistically, it's great. You're talking about our position in Christ.

But conditionally, experientially, on a human level, it's difficult for a brand new Christian to just disregard all those things that he's learned throughout his past life. and concentrate on the Lord. It's a learned experience to walk in the Lord, to follow Christ. And it takes time. There's no question it takes time.

I think there are two elements that are at work here. One is we must see what's already ours in Christ. And that's primarily what, in a place like Holly Hills, that's where the focus is. We're trying to teach everyone what is already theirs in Christ. What do you have and who you are. Then the next step, this is a two-step process, is you become aware that you need it. If you're not aware that you need it, you'll never appropriate it. You'll never take it. You'll never use it. So when it comes to husbands loving your wife, The spiritual man wakes up one day and says, wow, my responsibility here is way over my head. Somehow this has got to come together in terms of understanding, and I have a tremendous need. God's not kidding when he told me I'm to love my wife as Christ loved the church.

And that's years, I think. One, it takes a long time to learn the truth. I remember complaining to Miles Stanford one time about how slow spiritual growth was. I was whining. And he told me that it takes the Lord a long time to teach one the truth. But then it takes him twice as long to teach him how and when to give it to somebody else. I told that to my buddy who was a lot older than me.

He said, well at my age it isn't going to matter. I think that the Lord is constantly teaching us who we are in Christ and what we have. And at the same time, He is showing us our need. And it can be in all of the aspects of your life. It can be relationships, it can be financial situations, it can be family, it can be all kinds of things. But he uses God works all things together for good. That's what he's doing.

It's really a pretty cool day when the husband wakes up and realizes You know, my responsibility to my life is greater than, up to this point, my capacity to carry it out. I have to be dependent on God to do this, because if I'm not, it's not going to get done. That's why it takes, I think, so much time. And what's interesting I've noticed about believers, when God creates a need in their life, they run away from it. The instinctive, well, I can't go to church for a while, I've got to work this out.

No. The issue is, as you go to him, that's why the need was brought. Do you think any of the needs that we have in our life just showed up because you were dumb? Or because fate made things tough for you? No. Every single thing is orchestrated by God to conform you to Christ. In the Green Letters, Miles says that God is the one who provides the growth in your spiritual walk. He's the one who grows you. And that's why we go around thinking, well, why isn't this working? Why am I not wise? You know, whatever. It's because God's doing it and He knows how we can come along and what we can take at a time and so on.

So you may grow very suddenly at some point because you can. But it's not because you did it, it's because he did it. It's interesting that one of the I'm going to pick on you a little bit. One of the transforming understandings that a believer goes through during his spiritual growth is that he stops worrying about his spiritual growth. Because as long as you're thinking about your spiritual growth, who's the center of your attention? You are. And not Christ. See that? I'm going to read to you something from William Newell, which is out of Newell's Romans. I really like this.

He's talking about Paul and the book of Ephesians. He said, Paul does not ask a thing of the saints in the first three chapters of Ephesians, but just to listen. while he proclaims the wondrous series of great and eternal facts concerning them, and not until he has completed this catalogue of realities about them does he ask them to do anything at all. And when he does open his plea for their high walk as saints, everything is based on the revelation before given, the facts of their high character and destiny as saints.

Ephesians 4.1 I therefore beseech you that you walk worthy of the vocation wherein you are called.

Back to Colossians 3.1 Since you be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above.

Have you really gone to God and said, what are you talking about? I know I'm risen because you said so. I trust you about that. But what is this seeking things above about? where Christ sits at the right hand of God. Set your affections, your mind, your heart on things above and not on things of the earth. And why? Because you're already died. You already died and your life is hid with Christ and God. Think about what's in those four verses.

It's astounding what's in there in terms of who I am and the information and how do I respond to my position. The enablement of the Spirit of God shows me what I as a believer do. I seek those things which are above. I want to be in the very presence of the Lord Jesus Christ all the time. And I have a right to be there. And I should be there by faith always. Because He says so.

Spiritual growth goes from it being about me and my spiritual growth to Christ being the center of everything. You see that? That's the change where Christ does become the center of everything. And as Christ is the center of everything, you find that, gee, I live in this environment of love.

And love binds things together. It doesn't tear them apart. and it removes difficulties. Love does those kinds of things. Love not only bears and forebears, but it overcomes evil with good. That's the environment that I live in. But that is very hard to understand that you are with Christ in another place. Cool. Yeah, isn't that something? That's very difficult. So, isn't in the form of a question?

So you read that and you say, you know, Lord, this is really tough. I'm sitting in my living room, and I'm sitting in my living room, and I'm sitting in my living room. And I want to know what it's like to be in the Holy of Holies, because you're telling me that I'm there. You tell me in Hebrews I'm to boldly go in. What do you do then? What do you do right then?

That's right. You believe Him. Now, once you believe Him, it isn't like going to McDonald's and ordering two burgers and a Coke, and you go through the window and they hand it to you. You're right. Once you believe Him, there's a time in there. There's a time frame in there. But you have taken God at His word and you've trusted Him. And when you do that, hang on, because you're going for a ride, and the ride is into the Holy of Holies. But you have to trust Him. You have to believe Him. Otherwise it's a fantasy, isn't it?

I mean the reality, from an objective reality, everything you learn about your position in Christ, if it were not true, what are we doing here? Why would we come and learn about it? Why would I open up my Bible? Why do you open up your Bible? Why do you read it?

Because the word, what is that? The word is active. What is that? It's alive. Alive. Yeah, the word is alive. Sharper than any two-edged sword. It's an oath to know him. To know him. I've read a lot of books in my life. But nothing like this would have gone. And it seems to draw me to it. And I feel guilty if I don't every day get some time to get there. I mean, the wording of it is so marvelous. It's so marvelous.

What's that book designed to do? Why did God put it together? What's He use it for? Courtney? To know Him. To know Him. That's why it's there. And I do think that there's a transformation somewhere in the Christian's life where he or she begins to understand. Why am I reading this book? Because I've got to answer Doyle's questions on Sunday? No, I'm reading it to know the Lord Jesus Christ. And it's important that that be your attitude of faith every time you go in there. I want to know you.

Philippians 3.10, that I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death, was a phrase that Paul wrote in the Philippians. How long had he been a believer when he wrote that? What do you think? Thirty years maybe? Did it mean that he didn't know him? No, it meant that he did know him.

And when you know somebody and you love them, you want to know them more. And you know, for all eternity, for all eternity, there will never be a time when any of us will say, well, I know you well enough. That won't ever happen. We'll be growing in the knowledge and grace of the Lord Jesus forever. He's inexhaustible.

That's pretty cool, isn't it? But it starts now. It starts today. With all that information, and you get this exhortation, husbands love your wife, does it now make sense? One, it's possible, it's probable, and it's to be done correctly, which is the Spirit of God fostering the love of Christ through you towards your wife.

I don't think you believe me. I'm looking at your faces. Hey Mike, I was thinking this morning, when I did read The Hungry Heart, but probably only morning this week, but I was thinking about historically in the US, a lot of churches and seminaries in the 50s and 60s started to move to psychology, right? And the reason they give is because doctrine wasn't working. It didn't work fast enough. And so Dallas, if you read the Bibsack, their journal, it's great before the 50s and 60s. And then these articles start popping in and you go and you read in the 70s and 80s and it's almost worthless.

Right. Yeah. Just paper. Yeah. Wasted trees. Yeah, it is. But that, and so fast forward to today and now so many churches are just focused on conduct like you're saying, you know, in the Holy Spirit and time and it's irrelevant, you know, it doesn't even come up.

Why do you think this spiritual formation has taken such a great hold? Because there's a bunch of starving believers in these environments and they're looking for anything that would get them spiritually, or get them more spiritual than they are now because they recognize there's something there of the thing they don't have, which is rest. And there's no rest outside of Christ. I'm convinced that God's wrath against sin in the world, you know what it is? There's no rest. Ever met a non-believer that was at rest? I never have. There are very few believers that are at rest.

Rest is really kind of a hallmark of a believer who has settled down, who doesn't need psychobabble, who doesn't need extra spiritual stuff. that he's a Bible-centered, Bible-based believer who knows the Lord Jesus Christ and rests in what the provision has been given him in the Word. And that's all he needs. He doesn't need anything else.

Do you need anything other than Christ? Remember a few weeks ago I asked you, how valuable is Christ to you? Is he the most valuable thing to you, even above yourself? It's okay if you said no. And the reason it's okay is because the Spirit of God will make him so?

Yeah, well this will be a plug for our next class. Okay. But I think, and this is what I'm excited about, it all comes down to faith. And that's what our next elective will be, is faith. Do you believe this? That's where the rest comes from. That's the only thing we're called out to do, is to believe. It's the Holy Spirit's job to convince, but it's our job to believe, to have faith in what He's told us. And as you understand that, that's all we're called to do, is to believe what He says.

And when you do that, that's where the peace, rest, joy, and all those things, it's when we disregard that, we don't have faith. Yeah, I kind of believe it. No, I don't. And that's where there's no rest in that. in what he's already told is true about us.

And that's all that we're called to do, is to, in faith, you know, we're not supposed to go out and fight Satan, we're not supposed to do all that. We're supposed to just believe. And as we get into the class, it's amazing how much we're called out just to believe. Just by faith.

That's where rest comes from. Is we believe what's true, what's already true about us, what's true about the Lord. We can't be separated from his love. We can't. He's sovereignly in control. But do you believe that? We went through Colossians 1. He's the one who holds all things together. Do you believe that? If that's true, as Hal said, is there ever a tragedy in a believer's life? No. If he's sovereignly in control, there's no. But you have to believe that. You have to understand by faith that truth. And it comes down to faith. thinking about the very same thing he's talking about.

And I'm going to get through some more questions. Love is in the present tense. What does that tell us about the duration of the husband's love? And then I happened upon, let us labor therefore to enter into that rest. As for labor, it is true. that there's a great deal of struggle and searching and pleading and agonizing in the process of discovering and understanding truths fitted for our needs. And much of the same pathway is trod, or crawled, in an effort to appropriate and enter in. All this is not in vain, it's necessary. But it is not the key that opens the door to reality. Rest is the key to entering into rest. Do you get that? Do I need to say that again? Rest is the key to entering into rest.

In the important but exhausting labor process, we come to see the needed truth, we become sure of our facts, we begin to realize something of what is ours in the Lord Jesus. The appropriation of The resting in, the reality must be on the basis of faith and not struggle or labor. Now one of the things I didn't do was give you a definition of appropriation. What is appropriation? Appropriating the facts for me.

What does that word mean? Make it one's own. That's not bad. That's not bad. Appropriation does not necessarily mean to gain something new, but to set aside for our practical possession something that already belongs to us. So when you read the Word of God, when you appropriate by faith, you're appropriating for yourself something that's already yours. You're not gaining anything, you've always had it.

Now, it's important, I think, and Courtney brings up a good point, I think it's important to understand how rest fits in and how faith fits in, but I can't run past the idea that there's time involved. This is not an instant fix. There's time involved. There just is. But when you get the facts straight, and faith is on the facts, the time goes by faster, I want to say. It just does.

Because when the Word of God says, be transformed by the renewing of your mind, what the Spirit of God is doing is renewing your mind so that you begin to think Christ's thoughts after Him. And when you read the word of God, what are you reading? You're reading God's mind. Those of us who, as strange as it may sound, we have the very mind of Christ. That's pretty cool. Well, this is what his mind is. Grace and love and position and blessing. That's what it's all about.

No fair going to God and complaining you don't have. What don't you have? It was Newell or somebody who said in one of those hungry hearts, you can go across, in your mind go through all of the word of God and if you can find one blessing, one, that you don't have, that you should have, then the whole word of God is false. Because he says, God has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenlies in Christ Jesus. Every single one of them. If you can find one, then you need to go to the Unitarian Church. Or to the movies or somewhere.

Notice it says, and don't be embittered towards your wife. Why would he say that? Why would he say in this statement, husbands love your wife and don't be embittered towards them? Embitterment means harsh treatment. Why is it mentioned here and why is it commanded against? I have no idea because I know we are lovable creatures. I'm glad you said that. She said she didn't understand it because we're all lovable creatures all the time. You know, I wrote down that this embitterment has to be, is related to a man's temper, that it's short, you know, that not being bitter towards your wife.

In a family or a husband and wife situation, they have different roles and they're doing different things. And the husband is out, Courtney likes to say, slaying the dragons all day. And he comes home and his wife has been home taking care of the children. And he thinks he's due a little kickback. You know? What game is on, honey? And she says, the kids drove me nuts all day, I want you to take care of them. And he says, they're your kids. So there it starts.

Why do we have to specifically mention this? I think it's because it's a tendency of men to think when they came home slaying the dragons that they somehow are entitled to greater respect from their wife than they're getting. And so they're going to let her know that she needs to come up with more respect. So they're going to be a little embittered towards her if she's not just doing her thing, you know, not appreciating who you are. Mike, could it also be that your husband misinterprets the word submit in verse 18? And he assumed acts of authority in such a way that it hinders the life. Could be. Could be that.

I mean, you know, we laughingly talk about that we live in this entitlement society now. I talked to guys who were Vietnam-era guys like me that go to the VA, and that all the guys that are at the VA now that come from Desert Storm and stuff are all these entitlement soldiers, and they're not. And they're kind of bitter towards these guys because they demand the VA just, you know, where the Vietnam guys aren't demanding. The heck they aren't.

If Christ loved the church enough to die and raise again, and then he's seated at the right hand of the Father, he didn't just put his feet up. He's still serving and loving and caring and taking the responsibility. The husband needs to do the same thing. Even though he's slaying all the dragons during the day, he still needs to come home and take care of things at home. I find it interesting that Paul mentions it here. that it's an issue.

A lot of these things, the Lord's really been working on me a lot to change the perspective of these things. The Lord is just really working on me to see it from His side. And I think husbands love your wives and do not be embittered against them. And I think from the Ephesians 5.25, we're to love our wives like Christ loved the church. So when we look at this one, you love your wives and do not be embittered against them. I think of Christ looking at us as the bride.

When we screw up, is he embittered against us? Does he hold a stick and say, you screwed up today and I'm tired today and I've got... I've been working real hard. I've been working real hard today and you screwed up. I'm going to be harsh. I'm going to be... Christ isn't that way. Christ is... always forgiving, always looking to the other.

And it's our tendency, you know, we deserve a right today. And if you look at it from Christ's perspective, we're to love our wives and to not be embittered if they aren't being subject or they weren't just there to meet all of our needs when we come home. We're not embittered. Christ wasn't embittered against us.

When we make a fit, we don't do what we're supposed to do. We don't trust. We don't believe. And the model is Christ. And he's never embittered against us. And we're to love our wives as Christ loved the church. So as the Spirit of God conforms us, then things are done in a godly manner. It isn't that you focus on whether you're going to be embittered or not. It's that it's not consistent with who you are in Christ as a husband to be bitter. doesn't fit who you are. Any other questions? Let's close.

Father, how we thank you for your word, and we thank you for the Lord Jesus Christ and our position in Him. And with that, we ask that we may continue to grow in the knowledge and grace of Him, be more and more conformed, and be able to rest, Father. We pray in your Son's precious name. Amen.